No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
