i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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