Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
