okay pat passed out under dana's car
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the day after is always just damage control
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
