so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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