How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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