let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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