Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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