i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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