I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
