like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
