Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize