dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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