Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
