Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
