We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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