Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You took a bar mat shot.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize