How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
