i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
