It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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