I CAN MOONWALK!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
