Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
