mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
