She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
