I think I died a long time ago.
I don't think brook has ever known best
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
