Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
