If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
