First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
vagina is talking i cant
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
