i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
