ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
