I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
