we have officially lost it.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
