so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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