I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
