i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
