Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
