Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You ruined the universe
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
