I'm eating all of the evidence.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
