We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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