how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
