i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
