omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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