are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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