Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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