I bet he comes in French.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
