Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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