Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
