More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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