he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
