yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
