honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
