I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I need moral support for this bender
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
