He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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