I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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