Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
