if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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