shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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