Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
