how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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