That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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