i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
