Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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