she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
