Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
