Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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